Why It Doesn’t Matter What People Think Of You

I read a quote recently by philosopher Vernon Howard, who stated “A truly strong person does not need the approval of others any more than a lion needs the approval of sheep.” That’s it! Need we say more? You must ask yourself why it matters. We don’t mean to press the insensitive button, but many of us care too much what people think.

Realistically speaking, the majority of us were raised to believe that feeling important and accepted is a nice experience, therefore we learned to do and say things to make others like us. To stand apart from the crowd was risky and to be singled out from the crowd because you were different is cruel, so we learned to care too much what people think of us!

“Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.” ~Oscar Wilde

We all want to feel important and so we crave the positive attention of others, this is one of our basic needs. Therefore, we are paralyzed in our profession, and personal development to the pressure to please family, friends, colleagues, society, and social communities. Not everyone can run down the street naked or rock the most outrageous #OOTD but a bit of freedom to do as you like is beyond refreshing and also healthy to your mind, body and soul. This doesn’t mean that you should start to treat people badly, step on them or use them in any way, but simply to make a conscious decision to not put so much care into what others may or may not think of you.

1 You cannot control what people think of you as everyone has their own judgments and opinions.

2 Most people don’t care about what you do as much as we think. Therefore, your fear of disapproval from them is an illusion.

3 It’s your party and you should do what you want to. Trust in your own instinct and believe in your own judgement.

4 You don’t need anyone’s approval; as long as it is legal and ethical, go for it.

5 Find your authentic voice – it may take time, but this is the voice that knows you and is unafraid to just be and do you.

So who are you? Are you the person you want to be or the one that others said you should be? Who do you enjoy spending the most time with? How do you spend your leisure time and what do you enjoy about it or do you? What does your authentic voice say about your job or relationships? Do you pretend to care about things you don’t just to have an opinion? How do you dress on the weekends or when you feel your split personality shining through?

Personally, I spent many years in this spectrum as a girl from a traditional southern home and community, most of my 20’s were spent doing what I thought was acceptable and part of the status quo. I never really questioned it, although I knew the real me was in hiding, until life took a turn and I was left trying to “find myself” at 31. Nevertheless, as a believer that all things happen for a reason, I wouldn’t trade anything for the life lessons I received. But today, I try not to let others dictate my actions, successes, and life experiences and I stopped worrying what people thought of me…I simply do what makes sense and live for me!

YOLO!

  • Perfect! So much truth and great quotes!

    Hannah | Oh January

  • This is such a great post ! I’ve been so much happier since I decided that I don’t give a damn about what people think of me

    Xoxo

    http://fashionbackyard.blogspot.fr

  • Abbie

    I’m really trying to not care what others think, but it’s so much easier said than done! Inspiring post though! xxx

  • This is a wonderful post, and is so relevant for people pleasers like me. I’ve been on a journey to let go of other people’s opinions recently, which has been very tough since I’ve been doing it for most of my life! But I’m sure will be rewarding in the end. Thank you for the advice!

    • Sharon Nicole Hughes

      You’re welcome. You have definitely taken the most important steps. You are roaring girl!

  • Rachel

    This is the perfect post. everyone should read this.

    Rachel x
    thehappybits.blogspot.com

    • It’s really helpful :)

  • Laura Mareno

    This post really made me think! So good! kisses:D

    http://laurasavenue.blogspot.com.es/

    • I’m glad you liked it Laura :)

  • sarah

    Hi Celina.
    I like the post, straight to the point and exactly what I am trying to figurę out for some time already. I would love to hear Your advice in my one,particular job situation. Main point seems to be that unfortunately…what other people/ person think of me is ruining my reputation as an employee! I am wondering how to change that and what can I do about it. Maybe nothing? May I describe it here and ask for advice?

    • Sharon Nicole Hughes

      Hi Sarah,

      I am not Celina, but may I share with you a book I always found useful in this sort of situation, How to win friends and Influence people, by Dale Carnegie. Although you shouldn’t really care what people think of you, there is such thing as corporate culture and there is nothing worse than being isolated from your colleagues because this could affect your bosses perception of you, sadly. Although you don’t have to be the most bubbly person in the room, you should be approachable. Then you go home and embrace yourself in the relationships that really matter, family and friends. Good luck.

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  • I struggle with this every day. Great article…thanks.

    • Sharon Nicole Hughes

      We all do … so a reminder is always awesome.

  • kornelia

    I had printed this and hanged it on the fridge. I am going to read it to my 8 and 6 daughters every day.

    • Sharon Nicole Hughes

      I like that. Brilliant!

  • Annika Friesen

    I have to say this post showed up in my inbox through the CGD newsletter at just the right time. I looked at my email and I read this exactly when i needed it. Thank-you Sharon N. Hughes. Do you mind if I reference you in this article in an upcoming post in my blog?
    -Annika

    http://www.fernwehsociety.com

  • Alisha Ricki

    So much truth in this post! Thank you for sharing.

    xo, Alisha Ricki | Life(Style), Travel, & Culture

  • Natalie Redman

    I stopped caring what people thought of me when I reached university. I just realised it wasn’t worth the anxiety and hassle!

    http://www.upyourvlog.com