I Dumped My Boyfriend And It Was The Best Thing I Ever Did

 

At the time, I didn’t think dumping my boyfriend was the best thing ever, but then again who ever does? In the beginning, it was mostly ice-cream and heartache. After all, this guy wasn’t just a boyfriend that I had been dating for a couple of months. He was someone I had been in love with for probably half of my life. It was a whirlwind romance, one day we were in Paris, the next we were living together and then falling apart. Truthfully the break up wasn’t something that I had really wanted, but something I was forced to do. I never stopped to wonder why breaking up can be a good thing sometimes.

In the months that passed after the breakup, the veil had come down and I began to see for myself why ditching this guy was the best thing I could have ever done. And here’s why:

I realized my worth

For me, this guy was the “one” – I thought he was my Mark Darcy and that I was Bridget Jones. It was all meant to be! But then when something went wrong it made me think I was the problem. Love can be blinding, it can make you insecure and look at yourself in a way you never have before. Every time there was another woman brought into my relationship I didn’t blame him, but me. And that was the biggest mistake. Breaking up made me realize that I not only deserved better but that I was better. There wasn’t anything wrong with me at all…if it was anyone’s loss, it was his.

I got back my independence 

Somehow, I didn’t even realize that I had lost the fiery, strong woman who earned her independence. It’s almost as if I had given it away. Because in relationships we all turn into different women, we somehow become nurturers, which we are by nature anyway. Everything turns from “I” to “we” and all of a sudden you are “one” and no longer individuals. It can’t be helped, love has this funny way of making you not act very much like yourself.

But, when you start existing for someone else and not yourself, you know you’ve got a problem. So after the breakup blues had finally died down, I started feeling more like myself, the strong woman who could do anything. From then, I promised myself, no matter how much I loved someone, I would never put my independence last again.

My relationships with my friends got stronger

There’s nothing quite like getting your best girl pals together, sitting down with a glass of wine and just talking to people who just get you. I grow so much from those conversations. I’d be nowhere without my girl pals, and I bet it’s the same for you. Because in such times, you need your friends, you need your mum.

They are the ones who get you back on your feet, dust you off and make sure you’re ready to conquer the world again. And I never realized just how important friendships are until I went through this breakup. I had never been so grateful to those that held my hand through it, the ones who helped me realize it was a good decision to make.

GOOD THINGS

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  • Celina

    hi

  • Roarrrr

    Feeling connected to another person is like an out of body experience. It’s like a drug, I feel myself revert back to a vulnerable little girl and my hopes and dreams for a relationship.

    Then I get a wake up call when there are issues, and it always reverts back to the same question. What is it that you really want, are you getting it? Then can you discuss it with your partner? Is he/she respecting how your feeling, can you talk to him/her about it?

    • Linds

      Soooo true. But soo hard to accomplish. I’m currently in a whirlwind drug like relationship myself and I just don’t not know if I’m really wrong or if it’s the relationship.

      • Roarrrr

        As a friend told me. Do not put your all into a relationship. Wished I listened. It is such a high and addicting, hard to stop yourself. Also if there is an issue it is valid, stand up for yourself. They will respect you for it. Or they will take advantage of it.

  • Victoria Campbell

    I am just in this space, very timely. I agree with every delicious sentence!

    Warm regards,
    Victoria

    • Amy Rymer

      Yes! Me too, Victoria! So true.

  • Mirna Biosse

    Woah! I really needed this post right now. Its been a week and a half since I got out of my relationship, and im feeling the worst. I completely and utterly lost myself, my finances and my health trying to keep up with this relationship. And in the end he dumped me for that! I feel so lost and heartbroken and alone, trying to figure out what to do next, but i suspect this may be a good thing. Only the past few days has the veil of love started to come off my eyes as I realize how can something good deplete me of so much life?…
    Thank you, awesome post! I hope I come to realize someday that this is actually a good thing.

    • Libby Smith

      I’ve been there! But, trust me, it gets better. You just have to let yourself get better! Beyonce helps, a lot! You’ll be fine and remember everything happens for a reason!