Hangovers are a hard but important part of every party lover’s life. Before you go out you have the joy of choosing what to wear and applying your makeup with TLC but once it’s all over you wake up with a throbbing headache regretting every choice you’ve made. Here are 10 classic stages of a hangover that we can all relate to.
#1 “Am I still drunk?”
Blurry vision and an insatiable thirst are telltale signs of a hangover, but why is the room still spinning? And why can you only stagger with your head down? You’re not 100% sure that you’re sober yet.
#2 “Why is my bag there?”
You don’t remember getting home, so it’s only natural that you cuddled up to your favourite pair of shoes and wore your handbag as a hat. Now you’ve got to crawl across the floor looking for your cards and picking up the change you flung across the room. Ugh.
#3 “Never again.”
Every. Single. Time. You set out to have one or two drinks and somehow ended up regretting your entire life. “Never again!” you proclaim. But deep down you know you’ll be saying that again after the next party.
#4 “Oh no! My phone!”
The moment when you check your phone for the first time after an eventful night is a tentative one. Who did you text or Snapchat? Why did you shoot a video live from the toilet? What does that status even mean? You’re going to look into getting some kind of lock for your phone in future.
#5 “I need food. Stat.”
After a few hours of nursing your headache and rehydrating, your body suddenly makes you think about fried breakfasts and pizza. You realise that you need something ridiculously unhealthy in your life, but you’re not sure you can subject yourself to any more disappointment and regret. As time rolls by you realise you won’t feel human again until you consume your body’s weight in junk food. Time to get your order ready.
#6 “Dear Lord! My face!”
You just walked past a mirror and genuinely scared yourself. This is what happens when you drunkenly cry over a video of a puppy and forget to take any of your makeup off. You can’t even begin to think about the state of your bed sheets and you really aren’t sure how that shade of lipstick ended up smeared all over you.
#7 “Maybe I’ll feel better after a bath.”
Of course, a nice, hot, bubbly bath will make you feel better. But once you’re in the hot water, feeling slightly sore and hot, you aren’t sure it was a good idea. All you want to do now is get out of the bath and go back to sleep, at least you’ll feel clean.
#8 “Netflix, save me.”
You need to watch something easy and a little cringeworthy to help you feel alive again. You might not actually look at the screen because the brightness is hurting your eyes, but you need someone to be with you in the room, even if it’s just the voice of Kimmy Schmidt. Check out our list of Netflix Tv Shows if you need to stock up on hangover TV.
#9 “No, untag!”
Why would your friends tag you in that photo anyway? You don’t have to be a genius to realise that it’s unflattering. But as more and more notifications pop up on your phone you become aware that there’s no escaping those photographs, your friends exploited your weakness for cocktails and documented the evidence. You need to plot your revenge.
#10 “I’m just going to nap for a little bit.”
Deciding to have a nap until you feel better and waking up at some point during the evening is normal, right? You don’t feel better, but you certainly got enough sleep. Now there’s just time to have dinner and get back into bed again so that you can feel fresh tomorrow. You’ve never been more comfortable in your life.
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