10 Thoughts Everyone Has At The Gym

I was updating my CV the other day and in my hobbies and interests section I have actually stated that I ‘regularly work out’, in reality I’ve been to the gym once in about 10 months and my running shoes are now gathering dust in the spare room. I get about as much joy from a trip to the gym as I would a trip to the dump, to me it can only be described as hell in a confined, sweaty, over competitive space full of people in tight pants.

Why Is Everyone Staring at Me?

Lets be honest everyone likes to square up the competition. Guys judge you. Girls judge you. I feel judged before I’ve even done anything. Heaven knows what they think after seeing me prancing about for 20 minutes on a treadmill.

Are All Of These Mirrors Absolutely Necessary?

Seeing myself working out is not motivational it’s quite frankly hideous. Who looks good squatting? No one I’m sure.

“I’m Paying Money For This and I’m Hating Every Single Second Of It”

Gym memberships are cruel things really, you are paying for something that literally brings you nothing but pain yet you continue to do so because it makes you feel good, even if you do only go once a month…

 “I’m Sure My Bum Looks Big in This”

No matter how hard you try it’s near impossible to get the sports chic look right, a baggy top and the pair of leggings you hardly wear with the holes in will just have to do. No one ever looks good at the gym really, do they?

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“I Am Going To Get Fit If It Kills Me!”

Obviously that’s the reason you are putting yourself through this whole ordeal, those short bursts of enthusiasm and adrenaline that make you push through the pain are just the best, often short lived but still pretty amazing.

“All I Have To Do Is Look Like I Know What I’m Doing On This Machine”

I have an immense fear of being thrown off the running machine backwards, they say the chances are slim, I say otherwise. Those machines are like robots, if you don’t get an instruction manual I guess the only other option is to hope for the best, because actually asking someone is way too embarrassing let’s be honest.

 “I Really Need To Update My Playlist”

It’s not until you are forced to listen to whatever it is you have stashed away on your iPod that you realise how desperately it needs updating. Running to Adele just doesn’t really work unfortunately.

“Everything Hurts”

There will be muscles that ache that you didn’t even know you had, you probably won’t be able to walk the next day and you’ve more than likely sprained something but now you feel like a boss so it was definitely worth it.

 “Mmmm What Should I Eat When I Get Out of Here?”

Well working out makes you hungry, everyone knows that.

“Does Anyone Else Actually Not Want To Be Here?”

Nope, just me then.