4 Types Of Haters And How To Handle Them

photo: Urban Outfitters


Someone wise once said that haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate…But just because someone is acting terribly doesn’t mean that you have to sink to their level.

There are plenty of ways to deal with mean-spirited people, but your success in fending them off depends largely on identifying them and handling them effectively. Our top four types of haters are….

The Sabotager: He steals your ideas and touts them as his own without giving credit; she talks disparagingly about you behind your back. You might be in direct competition with this person, or you might have no idea what their problem is. Either way, they’re the bee in your bonnet you just can’t shake.

How to deal with them: Ignore them wherever possible, and when you see objectionable behaviour, call them out on it — if not to stop their behavior, then to let them know you’re aware it’s happening and that you’re not OK with it.

The Frenemy: Backhanded compliments are her forte and too-vague posts about how some people don’t deserve their success litter her Facebook. Yet she likes your Instagrams and LinkedIn changes, so you know she’s watching.

How to deal with them: Don’t let their jealousy dull your sparkle. You’re too busy to pay attention anyhow!


The “I Doubt It” Girl: Everyone has this person…tell them an idea, they’ll find 5 things that will go wrong with it. Tell them what you’re excited for, they’ll plant the seeds of doubt in your mind. If you fail, they’re there with an “I told you so!” If you succeed, they’re always around to tell you that your ‘lucky streak’ won’t last.

How to deal with them: First – stop telling them your life’s ambitions, as you’re pouring your heart into a poison well. But there’s a hidden superpower that Debbie Downer possesses. If you think an idea is too good to be true, and there’s no way you can fail, bounce ideas off this type of hater to navigate the pitfalls before you encounter them first-hand.

The Bragger: Whether or not this person has something to brag about is never an issue — nothing will stop this person from broadcasting the highlights of their life. Traits include story-topping (“You got a bonus? Oh, I got one last month that was MUCH bigger…”), and dismissing other people’s accomplishments.

How to deal with them: Kill them with kindness. Build up your peers in their company, comment about how well other people are doing. We’re women, after all; we should be building each other up instead of tearing each other down. The world doesn’t need any more haters!

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Charlotte Bailey


Charlotte Bailey is an freelance writer living in London. Originally from Canada, she's a word nerd, compulsive list-maker, and lover of novels & film.

  • Elishia Chave

    Perfect ways to deal with hate! Nobody should have to bare the brunt of someone else’s hate, great post!


  • Sophie

    Completely agree though it needs the extra step with Debbie Downers that once you get their feedback to move on and shut their opinion out. The nature of the Debbie Downer is they will keep going and going once they get started on a negative cycle and that’s not good for you but its especially not good for their own happiness. Love the one about the bragger too, after the Debbie Downer they probably annoy me the most

  • Camille Beygui

    This is such a great post

  • Stephanie

    Love this. This should be handed out on the first day of school, college, university and the workplace.

  • Gisele England

    Look Miss Moan-a-minute, why don’t you stop whining for a change and talk about happier times.

    If you can’t accept any form of criticism or opinion then you should let me know why. Why should I praise a bunch of flat chested, walking skeletons with mainly poor taste in fashion. Why should I admire odd necklaces and other types of jewelry worn by tramps in an untidy or slipshod manner. Why should I compliment weird shoes and crazy handbags worn with the wrong type of clothes. Why should I express my approval of gaudy colours and accessories worn by gauche women.

    I found your blog extremely depressing, and why on earth you’ve been nominated for a blog award is beyond me. Oh, and do tell me exactly which comments or otherwise you’re not happy with, and I’ll see what I can do.

    In my opinion, you are an arrogant, pretentious, amateur fashion blogger with delusions of grandeur.

  • YouTube “Travel with Alexis”

    Yep. Ignore some. Confront some. Put some to good use. I got it! Oh and why not purge the worst bunch of them from your life while we’re at it. Great post!!
    xx Alexis

  • Naima Major Berry

    Well sometimes people must be dropped. I don’t feel obligated to tell them why. They know. Not playing anymore kindergarten games with adult women. At all.

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