8 Tips To Help You Become An Excellent Conversationalist


Looking for some conversation tactics that actually work? Let’s face it. Unless you are the charismatic Serena van der Woodsen (and sometimes even if you are) it is often difficult to keep up a good quality conversation. Whether with your date, friend, or work colleague, it might be hard to always find the right thing to say at the right time. But no worries, we have 8 killer tactics that we are sure will help you build up some amazing conversation skills!

#1 Call Them By Name

Always use their name! This way you will acknowledge their identity and you will succeed in putting them at their ease, which is essential for the conversation to keep going smoothly.

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#2 Set The Right Tone

When opening up a conversation try to sound positive and friendly. By taking responsibility for the emotional vibe you will set the tone of the conversation. People usually react accordingly to how you react (or talk) to them.

#3 Make A Mental List Of Topics

To avoid running out of topics and not know how to keep the conversation interesting, try to make a mental list of things you could talk about. Knowing that you could go on for some time will also help you calm down if you are stressed.

#4 Use The Environment

And when you are at the end of your mental list and running out of topics, just have a look around and get inspired by the environment surrounding you. You’ll be amazed by how long you could talk about that nice painting hanging on the wall…(and also find out if your interlocutor is into arts!)

#5 Let Them Talk

Try not to overpower the conversation. Maybe due to stress or anxiety, you might run the risk to be talking all the time without realizing it! So let the other person do some talk, it will also help them open up about themselves. And the more you know, the better!

#6 Test The Understanding

Try to ask some small, sneaky, questions about the topic you have just talked about. In this way, you will find out if you still have the person’s attention or if he/she is being distracted by something else.

#7 Control The Answering Of Questions

Don’t always feel obliged to reply to an answer. Sometimes you can answer a question asking something else back. It is the perfect way to get in control of the conversation and let people understand you are a strong career girl.

#8 Climb the conversation tree 

If you see a conversation as a tree, each question and topic is a branch, learn how to masterfully keep a conversation going by spotting different branches and knowing how to open up a question and when to artfully shut it down.


  1. I would add #8 Flatter! Show that you were paying attention to what they were saying with “as you were saying, this project should have taken this direction” or “I was listening to you in our last meeting, and I kept on wondering where do you get this fresh perspective?”. It works every time! :)

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