9 Things All Guys Do On Tinder

Photo: Elle Australia

 

Ok, maybe not all guys. But a lot of guys do these things on Tinder. I should know, I’ve browsed it enough. Yes, it can be a good way of meeting some pretty hilarious man-folk, but it can also be a pain in the ass.

Behold, I have compiled a modern encyclopedia for my fellow Tinder travelers. Beware the man-folk, they work in mysterious and confusing ways…

tinder

The group shot bonanza.

Every single photo is a group shot. Every. Single. One. So we have the joy of going through them all and trying to figure out which one you actually are. It doesn’t make me think you have lots of friends and a dazzling social life, just that you’ve got something to hide and that dating you means I’ll be dating your 5 best mates too.

The one in the hat.

You’re wearing a hat in every photo. Cool. You like hats. What do  you look like underneath it though I wonder? Are you going a little bald? Which is fine, by the way. Or is there something more sinister lurking underneath there? A two-headed demon dog?

The silent witness.

Sh. Do you hear that? That’s the sound of your bio. Crying out for some words to describe who you are. Not a wordsmith? That’s okay. But the lack of writing makes me wonder if you have communication issues. Or if you’re boring. Sorry!

Even worse. The joker.

I love a funny guy. LOVE a good sense of humor. But on tinder, there can be an element of crossing the line or trying too hard. Let your humor speak for itself. Stay away from shitty pick-up-line jokes (unless they’re actually good), movie quotes and ‘funny’ profile photos. It just doesn’t always translate.

The girl-magnet.

What am I supposed to think about all the girls in your profile photos? Are you a great guy with lots of female friends? Or a player who thinks photos with multiple exes will make them more attractive? Head-scratcher.

The vaper. 

Your photo is a cloud of smoke with a body. We get it. You vape.

The Dr. Doolittle. 

Exotic animals abound. You’re on the back of an elephant, have a dog in your arms, holding a giant fish. You are a regular Dr.Doolittle. I love animals actually, so I don’t know if this is a bad thing. Multiple photos with a giant fish in your arms doesn’t make you a great catch, though.

The car enthusiast.

Squatting on the pavement next to a sports car you saw parked on the side of the street? Yeah, you’re a car enthusiast. I like cars as much as the next person, especially good-looking cars. But the road squat won’t trick me into believing that car is yours. Nor does it make you a good date.

The party guy. 

You’re a party animal! Every photo features a red solo cup. You’re looking for a girl who can keep up with your 24/7 party antics, but I’m wondering if there’s anything more to you than how fast you can sink a beer.

 

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