Do you remember a time when you didn’t care what people thought of you? When you did something because you were dared to, without worrying what others would think of you? When you could walk into a room full of people and shrug as they turned around to look at you? Some of us will remember these times, but for most of us, we’ve always cared what people think.
I don’t know whether it’s solely an age thing, but most people in their twenties are discovering themselves, finding their way in the world, figuring out who they vote for and who their true friends are – and that’s why we spend so much time worrying what others think. So, what if a book could free you of those thoughts and fears?
SORRY, NOT SORRY
At first, Sarah teaches you to take an ‘inventory’ of your mental ‘barn’ (kind of like Sherlock Holmes’s mind palace) and list all the things you are supposed to give a f**k about. This is the panic attack inducing stage because suddenly you start thinking about birthdays, bikini bodies, ex-friends, ex-boyfriends, work, objects, plans, holidays, etc. Your head will spin. She says to begin with ‘Things’ as they are inanimate (and family and friends are always more problematic) and stop caring about the things you can’t control!
MAKE YOUR F**K LIST
Sounds rude, but it’s so cathartic to get a pen and write down everything you do care about but don’t think you should, and everything you resent spending so much time thinking about. The book helps you to breach those tricky areas like family and friends in a controlled way by going through each category in your life from objects to work. Sarah shares her personal list, which contains ‘Passwords’ and ‘Calculus’ as well as ‘Taylor Swift’ and ‘Feigning sincerity’. Creating a list is so fun.
START WITH WHAT AFFECTS YOU
Sarah says that you should do things like ‘hanging up on a telemarketer’ or ‘throwing on a baseball cap to meet the plumber at 07:00 a.m. instead of getting up two hours early to shower and blow-dry your hair’. She gets us. Start with the things that don’t directly affect others before you start confronting other people’s emotions. Sarah says ‘Not hurting people’s feelings and not getting caught in a lie is the purest form of NotSorry. You have nothing to agonize or apologize for.’ So there!
STOP CARING IF YOU’RE LIKED
I think it all boils down to being liked. A toughie, it’s something I struggle with personally. But Sarah says not giving a f**k doesn’t make you rude or unlikeable, in fact, you can stop going to events you don’t want to and stop thinking about things that waste your energy and still be polite and likable. ‘…the simplest act of not giving a f**k is an overall improvement to your physical and emotional health.’
Have you read the book? Let us know what you think about freeing yourself from giving a f**k!
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