Anyone who knows me now would barely recognize the girl I used to be. I had major anxiety and found leaving the house to be a struggle. I was constantly ill or convincing myself I was, and I stayed in bed for far too long. I hadn’t had a chance to find out who I was. I was insecure. I used to play a game in my head where I’d count all the women who were thinner than me as I walked around. “Smaller,” “smaller,” “smaller,” the voice in my head would say.
And I was fading away. The impact I was making on the world was matching my thoughts and getting smaller and smaller by the day, my friendship circles tightened, everything seemed like it was wrong. I was still so young and so caught up in my own thoughts.
I never knew I could end up becoming the person I am today. That with one simple rule I could take myself away from the negative mindset and embrace a positive one. We’re all constantly striving to be the best version of ourselves, but it can definitely overcomplicate life, and create a pressure that isn’t even there. So I stick to a simple rule to move forward in life and embrace change and improvements wherever I can. And I’ve never felt better.
The rule of one
Simplicity is the key to getting things done. The rule of one is something I created to push myself out of my comfort zone and enlarge a world that seemed to be getting smaller and smaller.
The principle of this rule is that everything you want to do takes just one action. For example, I needed a job. My decision was to move to London, and my action was to pack up and just do it.
I didn’t talk myself out of it because it was one action to follow rather than one hundred. Nor did I spend ages breaking the process up into steps and stalling, I just did it. Likewise, I wanted to feel better about myself so I decided to follow one plan. I ate healthier and made this one simple action rather than many different steps, diets, and workouts. And I noticed the difference immediately. Read about how I changed my life with psychological tricks here.
Make your list of actions
Start by making a list of the things you want to achieve. Back then, my list felt as long as my arm. But each step actually required only one action. If you need a good notebook, I use the Make It Happen notebook for all my brain dumps and to-do lists, because I love to have the freedom to scribble in a notebook alongside all my plans.
Everything you want to achieve needs an action attached to it. In reality, you might not have achieved your goal after only taking one action towards it. That’s why you need to make sure your action is smart. Going running once isn’t going to help you get fit. Going running every day, however, that’s a more sustainable and realistic action to take.
Ask yourself the following questions about your one action:
1. Is it realistic?
2. Is it timed? (For example, running once every day instead of once and never doing it again)
3. Does this action link to results?
Because it’s the rule of one, you simply need to take a deep breath and do it. Don’t overcomplicate your life by adding hundreds of steps to one goal. You can use our Fit Is The Sh*t and Getting Things Done planners like I do, to help you record the actions you need to take and the goals you’ve achieved.
The changes you’ll see
The rule of one was everything for me. I moved to London, I went to a spontaneous job interview and met the girls who founded Career Girl Daily, I traveled, I signed up to the Penguin RandomHouse Writer’s Academy, I cut my hair off and dyed it blonde, I started working out. All these little things I did many years ago contributed towards me getting my confidence back.
If you take one big bold action towards the changes you want to make, you’ll feel bolstered by confidence. You’ll feel stronger and powerful, the fear inside you will shrink away and you’ll make more and more decisions on your own. Paving your way to success is easy if you push yourself out of your comfort zone fast.
Because I treated every major change I needed to make like one simple action, I became incredibly positive, comfortable in myself, and stronger. I am proud of who I’m becoming because I know I’m constantly working on improving myself.
So tell me, how are you working on becoming the best version of yourself? What do you want to add more of in your life? Drop a comment below and I’ll get back to you.
Photos by The-File
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