Why I’m Scrapping Wedding Tradition And Having A Man Of Honor


Photo: Free People


On our last day on vacation in the UK, my fiancé proposed to me at Saint Dunstan’s in the East. The moment was absolutely perfect and even captured on camera. The ring was gorgeous and I couldn’t wait to begin the wedding planning process!

Choosing my maid of honor
Every girl dreams of her perfect wedding, and once we returned – aside from celebrating with family – I started to think about how many people and whom I wanted to incorporate into my bridal party. To make a long story short, we decided eight was the magic number in order to include all essential personnel. I was especially excited to ask my roommate from college to be my maid of honor. She happily accepted.

Rarely does everything go to plan, and unfortunately due to personal matters, she had difficulty attending a lot of important wedding-related events, which caused a lot of strain in our relationship. We eventually made the decision that it would be in both of our best interests if she was no longer going to be at the wedding.

Throwing a pity party
I was crushed. I felt that I no longer had that special best friend who would be there to share with me such an important moment. To make matters worse, my parents recently moved several states away. Most of my bridesmaids were scattered across the country and I was trying to book a DJ, florist and photographer remotely. I felt like I was in a long distance relationship with my own wedding!

Until that point, I had been the bride-to-be that found the decision-making and planning to be stress-free. I soon found myself becoming overwhelmed and indecisive. I wanted nothing more than to have my roommate to turn to. So, after the pity party, I knew I needed to choose a different maid of honor.

Realizing that my man of honor was right in front of me all along.
When my fiancé half-jokingly suggested that I have one of my closest friends from college (important detail: who is a guy) be my man of honor, I immediately thought of the movie Made of Honor, where Patrick Dempsey fulfilled this role in his best female friend’s wedding. When I decided to go for it and ask him, I knew immediately that I made the right decision. He was flattered and totally into my resolution to throw a bit of wedding tradition out the window.

As my wedding day gets closer (not that I’m counting or anything), I’m so happy to be able to incorporate one of my closest friends in such a unique and special way. It may be unconventional, but it works. I only wish that I had gotten more creative and looked past typical limitations sooner.

With preparations becoming more detail-oriented, I find that I have more confidence and a more global perspective that have allowed me to move forward in creating a wedding that doesn’t need someone else’s opinion or stamp of approval, and most definitely isn’t defined by boundaries. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. So when obstacles present, it often means that something better is in store! My man of honor story proves just that!

Any other Career Girls planning a wedding out there? We’d love to hear from you.

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  • Agata Denis

    My brother was my man-in-honor and that was the best decision I could have made!:)

  • Kaldy AbduAllah

    wow. loved that, how lovely…
    well is I ever get married I have always to have bride’s friends rather than “maids” with both Genders..my best friends are both women and men

  • Samantha Hobson

    I had one of my best friends (who is an amazingly awesome gay man) as one of my bridesmaids; a ‘bridesman’. My day wouldn’t have been the same without having him by my side. I will be posting about it soon on my blog – but I feel like slowly, and fabulously – people are starting to make their own traditions and weddings are becoming a lot more personal and unique because of it! Viva Change!

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