“Could you please do this for me? Right now … I need it back in about an hour! ” your colleague asks. You look at your own to-do list and think ”I really don’t have time for this, so no I can’t help you”, but instead of actually saying it out loud, you say ”Yes, sure! Not a problem, will get it done as soon as possible” and the minute that is out, you immediately regret it, want to punch yourself in the face (yes, I really have those extremes) and take it back, but you can’t because that would be unprofessional.
Why do we find it so difficult to say no? Is it because we want people to like us and we think that saying no will make us less likable?
Saying no in a way that the other person actually gets that it is a ”no!” and not a ‘vague’ no, is often much more appreciated and makes you sometimes even more likable. In the end, we all love an honest and straight forward person, so learning how to say no is actually a good thing!
CGD gives you 5 tips on how to say no, that will help you to become that person we all appreciate so much:
#1 – Be clear
I am one of those people who gives you a ‘vague’ no, and always say no without actually using the word. It is important that you do not twist it around and say no directly. The other person deserves to have clarity and will appreciate it way more if you are honest and clear from the start.
#2 – Bring it convincingly
See #1, do not use words of doubt like: maybe, actually or it depends on…
#3 – Stay positive
Even though, you say no, bring it positively. If there is anything you can help with mention it and also explain why you can’t help the person at the moment.
#4 – Stick with your first argument
When a person keeps pushing you to change your answer to yes, always stick with your first argument. Don’t make stuff up or twist it around, be clear on the reason why you said no and stick with that.
#5 – Stop the pusher
Pushers are the worst kind of people (unless it is pushing for a better you or cause). If the person keeps pushing you to do something you said no to, simply tell the person to stop pushing and tell them you have a very busy schedule, so really don’t have time to argue with them on why you said no in the first place.
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Credit: Het effectief werken