First of all, so you don’t get this wrong, accepting your emotions is great. Whether negative or positive, you should always embrace how you feel to avoid letting it get on top of you or ending up with a burnout, but sometimes you need to manage emotions like fear, doubt, self-consciousness and jealousy.
It’s ok to have negative emotions, everyone has them – it’s human. But you have to learn to manage them in order to be successful. Sometimes, in certain situations, you have to be able to shut them down. There is no way of coming to work with tears in your eyes because you had a fight with your mom in the morning.
I have a really effective way of controlling my emotions, that every career girl should try. I have a document on my laptop simply called BOSS. In it I collect motivational quotes, texts that boost my self-confidence and so on. Whenever I’m sad or don’t feel confident enough I just read this document and trust me it works wonders. It’s similar to a vision board or a career journal, but it stays on your laptop and can be added to whenever you’ve got access to the internet or even offline (if you store it on Google docs or something similar).
As simple as it sounds, whenever you feel yourself tearing up or getting angry take 10. Remove yourself from the situation or count to ten in your head, for each number think of something positive or funny to help you calm down!
Fight the disappointment
One unwanted emotion that everybody can relate to is disappointment. And there is a way to solve it, it’s not easy but once you lower your expectations you will never be disappointed. It sounds simple, doesn’t it? It takes a lot of time to lower your expectations, if you’re managing a team make sure you’ve trained them and know exactly what they’ll be producing, and if you’re expecting something from someone don’t go above and beyond. Over the last year, I’ve really improved in not expecting too much and it’s really worked for me. I haven’t been disappointed in a long time, as I said that took me a year and I’m still not totally carefree, so working on your weakest emotion takes time.
Have a good cry!
In the privacy of your own home, or in the street if you’re that way inclined. Never bottle anything up, it’s so healthy to get it out, although you should manage it while you’re in a professional setting – call your best friend or closest family member and just let it all out. Whether you’re in a furious rage or sobbing down the phone, you’ll feel so much better once you talk to someone!
By Benita Ilgenstein