How does it feel to have a postponed wedding hanging over you? Well, as I write this, there is a white shiny box sitting on my bed with a wedding dress and veil neatly folded inside. Wrapped in layers of tissue paper with a beautiful card of congratulations. It’s two months until my wedding. Except it isn’t.
I can count on both hands the number of couples that also have the feeling of a postponed wedding hanging over their head. Everywhere I look, there are articles focusing on the doom and gloom, making postponing a wedding seem like the worst thing ever. Of course, it sucks but after all, we’re looking after the safety of our friends and family members, we were ensuring that next year it can be the best damn party around.
If you’re facing the same decision as I did, or if you’ve already postponed your wedding…I think it’s important to lighten up. Have a moment, and give yourself a reason to be super excited about the wedding, whether it’s postponed a few months or a full year.
It’s a tough decision to make and when you’ve spent months building up to one point, only to move the goalposts further away, it can be frustrating – and a little bit heartbreaking. However, you’ve gotta stay positive. See the bigger picture and add something else to the time you’ve got to plan.
I cried on the day we made the announcement (all day) and then I picked myself up and thought about what I could do between now and next year to make the wedding even better. I ordered some extra wedding invitations with a funny tagline (“Let’s try this again, shall we?”) and started a new mood board to see what else I could add with the extra year to save up.
Create your own milestones
Hello, we’re the generation that had to postpone their weddings due to a global pandemic. That’s not normal, and how we choose to handle that is up to us. Things have kind of gone out the window, so now it’s up to you to decide what you want to do with it. Having an extra year to plan is hella fun, you can plan in a second hen party if you want or plan to do something on the day your wedding was supposed to happen.
Even if that something is a socially distant video call drinking session. Making this situation your own and owning it is how you’re going to stay positive and get that excitement back. I’m seeing it as an extra year to plan in fun things and get extra gifts for my hen party goodie bags.
Visualize the negative
What really helped me was to visualize the worst-case scenario. Say we all got out to Portugal and could fly out, our friends and family could join us, there were already so many people dropping out or not able to give us an answer that it meant our numbers were down.
Next, I visualized what would happen if the older relatives were afraid to kiss and hug us if nobody was able to go in the pool if the dance floor was empty if the photographer had to stay so far away from us and our caterers had to wear masks. It’s not just about my vision for a wedding, it’s about our guests having an amazing time.
Visualizing this helped me to make the final decision, the one I really didn’t want to have to make. But it also paved the way for better visualizations, visualizations of 2021, a party that we all deserve and can fully enjoy.
Remove defeatist attitudes
Hell yes, I’m planning facials every week and training sessions, fun outings with my friends, and reminders that 2021 is the year of the wedding. We can’t spend our lives worrying if something else is going to happen to scupper our plans, instead we should love wholly, laugh loudly and run, jump, and skip into it.
Don’t have a defeatist attitude, instead think of all the cool new things you can do. You can rewrite the rules on wedding etiquette, redesign your wedding website, change the entire theme if you want – it’s up to you now, you’ve got all the time in the world to make it the best party ever!
Shout out to all my fellow brides-to-be. I feel for you during this rocky time. Kudos to you if you are going ahead with it, but if you’re teetering on the edge of a decision I hope this article helps. Let me know in the comments below if you’re a 2020 bride and how it’s affected your wedding plans!