Why Being Selfish Is Sometimes A Good Thing


The idea of being completely selfless is idealistic, but in reality it’s just not practical at all. Often we think that making other people happy will bring happiness to our own lives, but there are times when this simply is not the case. While no one wants to be thought of as selfish, there are occasions where putting yourself first is not just the best thing for you, but is even beneficial to those who you care about the most. 

To make others happy, you have to be happy.

How can you try and cheer someone else up if you are in a bad mood yourself? The truth is, you can’t and it’s the same when it comes to making someone happy. You may think that being truly selfless means putting others happiness first, but in fact happiness is most effective when shared, making it essential for you to be happy first. Putting yourself before others is deemed to be selfish, but in the long run doing what’s best for you actually works out best for everyone, so don’t be afraid to do it once in a while.

Your relationships will benefit.

For your relationships to work, you have to be getting something out of it and sometimes the only way to achieve this is to be selfish. Relationships are all about balance, and acting selfish to get what you want in some aspects will mean that you are more likely to compromise on others. To be in a successful relationship you have to not only know what you want, but know who you are as an individual and sometimes being selfish is the only way for you to know this.

It will offer you success.

Being selfish can often be essential when it comes to achieving success. If you are someone that is constantly compromising your own aspirations with your consideration for others, then you are not likely to get very far in life. Those who know exactly what they want, and aren’t afraid to chase it, are the ones who get it and more often than not they won’t think twice about putting themselves first to get there. It may seem selfish, and not worth contradicting your morals for, but sometimes in life you have to be ruthless, otherwise you run the risk of staying in the shadows.

Not everyone is grateful.

Too often we put others before ourselves and receive no gratitude for doing so. Whilst you don’t necessarily give to receive, why should you always be the one to give? When acting selflessly you are supposed to accept that you may not receive appreciation for your sacrifice, but it’s human nature to feel disappoint if you don’t. There are times when others should absolutely be put first, regardless of whether they will be grateful for it, but then there are also times when you should save yourself from the disappointment, and avoid putting yourself last for someone that would not do the same for you.

The life you are living is yours.

Despite all else it all comes down to the fact that it is your life. We have all been told that ‘life’s short’ and ‘you only get one’, and if we are to truly live by this then being selfish at times is inevitable. You have to think about how you will feel when you look back at your life, and what you are likely to regret more. Are you going to be grateful that you always put others before yourself no matter what? Or, are you going to wish that you fearlessly did whatever you wanted regardless of the consequences?

  • Nadine Cathleen

    Well said! Absolutely :)
    Often we regret the things we haven’t done… Treat everyone the way you would like to be treated but you are not a charity, this is also your life. Generally it is good to ask yourself how you would think about a certain decision when you are old and look back at your life :)

    Nadine Cathleen | Karate and Caviar

  • yvonnelaura

    I’m mostly pretty selfish.. I know what is good for me so I’m often not doing anything that isn’t good for me. Let me just say.. I’m a queen at saying no while a lot of people can’t say no.
    Then again, I like opportunities and say yes to a lot of things that can help me grow. I think I have it pretty balanced

  • Lisa

    Love this post, and it is so true! Sometimes it’s just okay to be selfish. How can you love other people if you don’t love yourself? I definitely think it’s good to keep other people in mind and not to make choices that you know will directly hurt others. BUT sometimes you just have to look out for number one and make the best decisions for you! Great post. xoxo

  • Angelica

    Yes, we all need to be a little more selfish!

  • Rinniboo

    I love this. I think it’s so true. I try my best to make everyone comfortable and worry about etiquette and manners when I’m hosting, but sometimes I feel the need to be a little selfish in order to take in my surroundings and truly enjoy what I’m doing with everyone. I think we’re entitled to enjoyment.

    For more empowering things, check out my blog:

  • Kaitlyn

    Amen! The life you are living is yours. Yes!

    – Kaitlyn | http://www.TheCrownFox.com

  • Alden Terry

    love love love this

  • Lauren

    100% agree with this, you can’t succeed or feel good without allowing a few selfish moments to grow and thank yourself!

    Lauren x
    Britton Loves | Lifestyle Food Beauty

  • Alexandra

    I think that last point hit me a little. I kind of read it and then stared at my screen for a while; realizing just how true it really is…”what will you regret more” is a quote that will surely stick with me.
    It’s kind of scary how sometimes we find advice we didn’t even know we needed:)x

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  • Erika

    I am in my early thirties and just now starting to really figure out how to be selfish and put myself first. The hardest part of it all seems to be the people in your life who can’t understand that. Whether it is friends who are still in the party mode, family who don’t want to give as much as they receive, or everyone in general that do not understand why you’re suddenly not putting each and every one of their needs at the top of the list. Not only do they not understand it, but they also don’t even see that you’re trying to do better for yourself, your life, and your future.

  • Mervi Emilia

    Yes, and it can be really difficult to be selfish. Just like Erika wrote, there are many obstacles to it, internal and external.

    For the first point, “To make others happy, you have to be happy”, it’s like in an airplane crash you are told to first put the oxygen mask on yourself and then on your kid. You cannot help others if you cannot help yourself first. That also is something which makes it hard to embrace selfishness.

    But with some work, maybe I can learn too!

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