Some people genuinely hated the person they thought I was!
It’s a fact of life, first impressions count. When you walk into a job interview, they’ll be looking at you before you get a chance to speak and weighing up the kind of person you are. Can they envision you walking into your office in the morning? Do you understand the dress code? Is your hair still a mess from running from the tube station to the location? It’s probably a sad fact, but it’s a fact nonetheless.
I don’t have the greatest track record with first impressions, here’s why I think you should not trust them.
1. It takes more than one meeting to suss someone out.
I have a great instinct for people. But it takes more than one conversation to tell what kind of person they will be. I once met someone and thought I’d have nothing in common with them, now they’re one of my best friends.
You might think someone is bitchy or uninterested and they turn out to be incredible, just a bit nervous. It’s hard to show your true self when you first meet someone. People who’ve known you for a long time are blind to your fashion sense or your slightly unwashed hair, people who are meeting you for the first time – not so. But it doesn’t say anything about the kind of person you are.
2. Think about your own first impressions.
I know more than anyone that if you’re judging others, they are definitely judging you. For some reason, people tell me all the time what their first impressions of me are, probably because they’ve realized I’m a girl with a good sense of humor, but it’s a little alarming.
Some people genuinely hated the person they thought I was, others were intimidated by me. They’ve told me now and I take it as a compliment, I’m not that person and they feel comfortable enough to laugh about it. Has anyone ever told you what their first impressions are? I can’t count how many loud friends I have that have told me people think they’re quiet and reserved. First impressions are wrong!
3. Why are you judging people anyway?
We all do it, and we can’t help it. If you aren’t interviewing for a position or judging some kind of contest, there’s no reason you should let that little judgy voice in your head dictate whether you should continue conversing with a person or pursue a friendship.
It can take a few meetings to click with someone or find something in common, but once you do you might just have a new friend, if not well hey-ho but whatever, you gave them a chance. Plus, people you know really well have the exact same chance of letting you down as someone you’ve only met once, and chances are you can’t even remember your first impressions of them!
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