If we told the truth all the time life would be so boring, we’d never make ourselves out to be more glamorous than we are and all our Instagram photos would be mundane. If we counted up all the white lies (and big porkies) we told a day, we’d probably be sitting here rather red faced! The good news is everybody lies, so here are our ten favourite lies girls tell and what we really mean!
#1 I’m on my way
The most common lie we tell is always to do with our whereabouts, mostly because we don’t want to admit we’re still getting ready or trying to find our keys. We probably won’t be there in the next five minutes, if you’re a true friend – you’ll already know we’re nowhere near ready to go.
What we really mean: “I’m on my way back to the wardrobe, I think this dress makes my hips look big. Be there once I paint my nails and find my keys, hope you’re not waiting too long!”
#2 “I’m going on a health kick!”
For some reason, even with all the will in the world, us girls just can’t stick to health kicks for long. If you hear someone declaring their health kick loudly and often, it’s probably because they’re trying to convince themselves they’re giving up alcohol and chocolate. It never lasts.
What we really mean: “I’m going on a health kick, I’ll probably go to the gym once and eat some granola a few times, then I’ll order a pizza and marvel at the hard work I put into my body.”
#3 “I have no idea what my ex is up to!”
Social media was invented solely for stalking people without them ever knowing, the biggest fib we tell is that we don’t all indulge in a little stalking now and again.
What we really mean: “I have no idea what my ex is up to right now, but I do know where he lives, what he’s been up to in the past month, what his favourite restaurant is and what movie he watched last night!”
#4 “I deserve a treat!”
Sometimes you need to justify spending so your inner voice stops whining about all the money you don’t have, and if you’ve convinced yourself that you worked so hard that you deserve it, it’s more like a gift to yourself than unnecessary spending.
What we really mean: “I want to spend my money on things I don’t need but I need to convince myself there’s a good reason for doing it.”
#5 “I have nothing to wear!”
It can be frustrating staring at a wardrobe full of clothes and not knowing how to put a good outfit together, especially if you don’t know what everyone else will be wearing. The easy way out is to collapse on a pile of clothes you simply can’t wear and declare your wardrobe useless.
What we really mean: “I have too many clothes, I don’t know what I’m doing. If I only knew what everyone else was wearing I could probably put something nice together. I’ve worn that dress too many times now I might as well throw it in the bin! I wish I’d just bought the outfit that the model was wearing in Topshop!”
#6 “I’m not wearing any makeup!”
Minimal makeup counts as not wearing any right? We want people to think our skin naturally glows and our eyebrows are perfect arches, so what if it’s not true? You can’t tell, can you?
What we really mean: “I’m only wearing half the makeup I usually do.”
#7 “I’m not drinking tonight/anymore!”
Yes, we’re just coming to socialise, after the hangover we had last time we really have been put off alcohol for life!
What we really mean: “I’m not drinking water, that’s lame. I’ll order a couple of drinks just to be social. Shots? Why not!”
#8 “I haven’t got any money!”
Nobody knows the struggles of having money but not wanting to spend it; when you’re saving for something or have promised yourself an end of the month splurge and somebody suggests going out for dinner. All you can see is the money slowly dripping out of your account.
What we really mean: “If we’re going out, you’re paying!”
#9 “We need a catch-up!”
It’s so nice bumping into an acquaintance, but it’s not so nice ending the conversation sharply and jogging off into the sunset never to think of them again. It’s better this way, we’ll both pretend we want to see each other and that we’ll be in touch shortly, and then we’ll both never speak again…until the next awkward encounter.
What we really mean: “I’m too polite to admit we’re not as close as we’re acting, also I’m not sure we’d really get along.”
#10 “I’ll do it tomorrow!”
You just can’t be bothered to tick those tasks off today, and Netflix is calling you – so it’s better if you just do it tomorrow when you’ll be in a better frame of mind and have had a rest. Of course you’ll do it tomorrow, future you can do anything!
What we really mean: “I’m probably not going to do it, ever.”
Are you guilty of telling any of these little white lies? Let us know your favourite lie to tell in the comments below and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook