We often talk about the dangers of comparison here at CGD, I personally fell victim to this a lot growing up, I was so jealous of everybody around me because I didn’t have any self-esteem or self-worth, which is a common thing for young girls who are desperate to fit in and scared of the future. When you don’t value yourself it’s so easy for others to do the same, and when you measure your success by what other people are doing it’s easy to feel lost. Here’s why it’s so important to define your own success and ignore what everyone else is doing!
What is success?
The definition of success is ‘the accomplishment of an aim or purpose’. But for some reason when we talk about success and successful people we think that success means money, fame, an amazing career a great house and perfect hair. Those things are unattainable.
Success for you looks completely different to your friends. You might consider yourself successful when you can buy your own house, or maybe a successful life for you looks like a big family, or maybe it’s much smaller and success to you is building your own Instagram profile or committing to writing five days a week. You don’t have to define what you want by anyone else’s standards.
When were you last successful?
I know you’re trying to think of a time when people stood around and applauded you and told you how great you were, but that’s not what I mean. Being successful means accomplishing something you set your mind to. So think about even those little things. If you start logging the little successes, you’ll realize that you’re much more of a badass than you thought you were. You’re doing things successfully every day, like getting dressed and not leaving the house with your pants tucked into your skirt (thanks again to the two ladies who alerted me to that fact on my way out the door!)
If you think counting up little successes is a waste of time, then you probably won’t know what to do when a big success comes around the corner. Praising yourself every once and a while allows you to really enjoy the things you’ve put hard work into.
How do you define success?
You probably define success by what you see on social media right now. What your friends and neighbours are doing and what you think you should be doing at this point in your life. Don’t be conditioned by what’s around you. You are successful, think for a minute about why and what you’ve done that adds up to success – you’d be surprised.
Why you need to define success for your career.
So if success only means wealth and promotions, you’ll never be fulfilled in your career. You can always be more wealthy, and in a company, there will always be a position you want. By defining success as something achievable, and something that you already have, you’ll be more confident in selling your abilities to employers, more confident in the job you’re currently doing, and have more enthusiasm in yourself.
You can start a journal or a document that collects the praise you’ve received. Paste complimentary emails, praise, great references, and anything else that will remind you that you’re successful. Any time someone comes to you with advice about something, it’s because they think you’re successful at it.