I met my boyfriend 7 years ago. And since we met at university, I’ve lived with him ever since. I know everything about him, so moving into a place we bought together held no real surprises. I can only share the tips for couples moving in together that I know, for example, I know that he steps out of his trousers and leaves them where they are, that he likes to listen to Little Mix (ironically at first but now he actually likes them) and that the sight of a spider will make him hyperventilate.
But there are some things you only learn from having a space to say “Don’t tell me what to do in my own house!”
1. You start to play a mean game of ‘I told you so’
Now it’s our own space, we can raise our eyebrows at each other without even saying “I told you so”. Case in point, the past week I’ve been moaning about the amount of spiders in our house, and every single time he says, “We live in the countryside, babe.”
This morning, I woke up to the sound of Andre breathing as if he was doing some intense yoga. When I opened my eyes to tell him off, I saw him clutching my shiny silver boot trying to squish a spider the size of my head running towards our bed. I had no time to be scared. I was too busy raising my eyebrows at him…”We live in the countryside, babe!”
2. Cooking means different things to different people
My boyfriend’s definition of cooking used to be microwaveable pies and burgers that come already assembled at University, but has branched out to include homemade burgers and lasagne. Mostly, it involves putting things in the oven and turning the timer on. Which is fine, because I prefer to only cook when I can follow a complex recipe and create something we’ve never tried before, so for those days where I feel lazy I can rely on him to heat something up.
3. You suddenly need to streamline your morning routine with another person
Now we live alone there’s no need to whisper in the morning, and we have two bathrooms so I can take the upstairs one while he takes the downstairs one. It’s perfect. But we still aren’t exactly in sync, and we commute together so we kind of need to be. For example, I stay in bed until the last minute, complain I have no clean t-shirts and then sit in the passenger seat of his car applying my makeup while he quietly fumes beside me.
4. It’ll make you or break you
Maybe we’re weird, but I don’t have typical stories about how frustrating it is living with him. I’ve heard them, and read them but there’s nothing juicy about us because we work together really well. The house is perpetually clean, we only ever bicker in the car to and from work and the decorating is a shared responsibility.
Living with my best friend is easy as hell, but don’t do it unless you’re sure. We already worked the kinks out seven years ago, in our University house, surrounded by empty pizza boxes. Now we’re proper adults who worry about when the bins go out and getting compostable food waste bags. Juicy? Not really.
5. You turn into your parents…
One of the strangest things about getting our own place was suddenly turning into my mum. No shoes on the carpet. Please act interested when I’m showing you my house. If you say my choice of paint is too dark I will tut and silently curse you. The good thing is you’ve got a wingman to fight your battles, someone who’s had to hoover up the dirt his work boots have left on the carpet so many times that he already tells guests to take them off before I have to!
6. People will not always be positive
So between people judging you on how you sorted out your mortgage, how much you spent on a coffee table and the people who get offended that they weren’t immediately welcomed over with a banner and flags, you’ll have a few battles to fight. The good thing is, you can fight them together!
And everyone knows the best way to fight negativity is by ignoring it and pouring yourselves two big glasses of wine on a Friday evening and cheers-ing to your new place, well at least that’s my way of dealing with it anyway.
Shot by Career Girl Daily at LA Suite West. Makeup by Jana Pirosko.
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