At the time, I didn’t think dumping my boyfriend was the best thing ever, but then again who ever does? In the beginning, it was mostly ice-cream and heartache. After all, this guy wasn’t just a boyfriend that I had been dating for a couple of months. He was someone I had been in love with for probably half of my life. It was a whirlwind romance, one day we were in Paris, the next we were living together and then falling apart. Truthfully the break up wasn’t something that I had really wanted, but something I was forced to do. I never stopped to wonder why breaking up can be a good thing sometimes.
In the months that passed after the breakup, the veil had come down and I began to see for myself why ditching this guy was the best thing I could have ever done. And here’s why:
I realized my worth
For me, this guy was the “one” – I thought he was my Mark Darcy and that I was Bridget Jones. It was all meant to be! But then when something went wrong it made me think I was the problem. Love can be blinding, it can make you insecure and look at yourself in a way you never have before. Every time there was another woman brought into my relationship I didn’t blame him, but me. And that was the biggest mistake. Breaking up made me realize that I not only deserved better but that I was better. There wasn’t anything wrong with me at all…if it was anyone’s loss, it was his.
I got back my independence
Somehow, I didn’t even realize that I had lost the fiery, strong woman who earned her independence. It’s almost as if I had given it away. Because in relationships we all turn into different women, we somehow become nurturers, which we are by nature anyway. Everything turns from “I” to “we” and all of a sudden you are “one” and no longer individuals. It can’t be helped, love has this funny way of making you not act very much like yourself.
But, when you start existing for someone else and not yourself, you know you’ve got a problem. So after the breakup blues had finally died down, I started feeling more like myself, the strong woman who could do anything. From then, I promised myself, no matter how much I loved someone, I would never put my independence last again.
My relationships with my friends got stronger
There’s nothing quite like getting your best girl pals together, sitting down with a glass of wine and just talking to people who just get you. I grow so much from those conversations. I’d be nowhere without my girl pals, and I bet it’s the same for you. Because in such times, you need your friends, you need your mum.
They are the ones who get you back on your feet, dust you off and make sure you’re ready to conquer the world again. And I never realized just how important friendships are until I went through this breakup. I had never been so grateful to those that held my hand through it, the ones who helped me realize it was a good decision to make.
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