I learned from my parents to always try to look deeper than into people’s opinions, especially when an opinion seems illogical to me. That before I make an assumption, I should ask myself where this person comes from, what has this person been through, what is the cultural/political/ socioeconomically background, etc. so I can then better understand how this person came to this conclusion.
I constantly try to look at opinions different than mine from a different point of view, and try to not be inflexible because that is the easiest thing to do.
The past couple of years I have met several women who made it impossible for me to understand their stance against feminism, no matter how hard I tried and ask myself questions I just couldn’t comprehend.
What exactly are you against? Are you in favour of the differences in salaries based on gender? It is a fact that women in the same job position, in the same company, with the same responsibilities have different salaries than their male colleagues. Are you against the fact that women can choose whether to be a housewife or a dedicated career woman, or a combination of these two (which is possible and very common)? Are you against women and men being treated equally? So, what is it that you’re against when you say you’re against feminism?
In simpler terms: feminism is NOT women fighting to become better than men or demonizing and disrespecting men. Feminism does not try to victimise women in order to get what we want. According to the dictionary, feminism is ‘the advocacy of women’s rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes. Feminism is the belief that everyone is equal and everyone deserves autonomy to make any choice and assume the responsibility of said choice.’
So yes – a woman can be married, respect her husband, be a housewife and still be a feminist. She can be a career woman, choose to have kids in her late 30ies or no kids at all, or go travel for the rest of her life or be in a polyamorous or open relationships without the pressure of marriage, etc. The choices that we make on how we want to model our lives (as women), we were able to make because of feminism. The choices that we are able to make that we so often take for granted, is a choice that thousands of girls and women around the world wish they had. Because of that and until the day comes that everyone in this world, despite gender, is treated equally in real life and by law, our society needs feminism.
Let’s not ignore the fact that men have concerns too, feminism covers all aspects of equality and we feminists know that in some fields we have an advantage. How, you ask? For example, during a divorce, the judge should not automatically assume that the children is better off staying mainly with the mother, but handle each case as an individual case – how was the relationship built up, which parent was more involved with the kids and is the more ‘stable’ or ‘responsible’ parent. What is best for the kids? We have seen some dreadful cases where the woman was in the advantaged position and it was an unfair battle for the man. So a feminist is against that unfair assumption, as feminism stands for equal opportunities for everyone. A simpler example is that every woman’s toilet has baby-changing tables and very few men’s toilets do. Do we assume that men can’t be responsible fathers?
Feminists are not man-haters, or females that do not want to take responsibility for their actions. I know that there is women who call themselves extreme feminist and that have a great dislike for men (which they acknowledge themselves too!), but that has nothing to do with normal feminism.
Are you against feminism? Have you heard good or bad arguments about this issue? Leave us a comment or send us an email.